Healthy relationships are not built on endless sacrifice, mind-reading, or emotional fusion. They are built on clear, compassionate boundaries, a core focus of relationship therapy at Therapy Ties. Boundaries are not walls that push your partner away; they are bridges that make closeness safe, sustainable, and respectful.
In relationship therapy, many couples come in believing boundaries mean distance or rejection. In reality, boundaries are what allow intimacy to thrive. They help each partner stay connected to themselves while remaining deeply connected to each other.
This guide breaks down the five essential types of boundaries every couple should understand, a framework we often explore in relationship therapy: physical, emotional, intellectual, sexual, and financial. For each, you’ll find a clear definition, examples of healthy and unhealthy patterns, and a reflection question to explore together.
Why Boundaries Matter in Healthy Relationships and Relationship Therapy
In relationship therapy, boundaries define where you end, and your partner begins. Without them, relationships often slide into resentment, emotional exhaustion, control, or disconnection. With them, couples experience:
- Greater emotional safety
- More honest communication
- Reduced conflict and resentment
- Stronger trust and respect
- Deeper intimacy and autonomy
Boundaries are not about controlling others. They are about taking responsibility for your needs, limits, and values. Allowing your partner to do the same.
1. Physical Boundaries in Relationship Therapy
Definition:
Physical boundaries involve your comfort with touch, personal space, physical affection, and bodily autonomy.
Healthy Example:
One partner communicates that they need personal space after a long day before engaging in physical affection. The other partner respects this without taking it personally.
Unhealthy Example:
A partner insists on physical closeness despite the other expressing discomfort, or uses guilt (“If you loved me, you would…”) to override physical limits.
Reflection Question:
Do I feel safe saying no or asking for space when it comes to physical touch in this relationship?
2. Emotional Boundaries in Relationship Therapy
Definition:
Emotional boundaries relate to recognizing and respecting each other’s feelings without taking responsibility for regulating or fixing them.
Healthy Example:
One partner shares feeling overwhelmed. The other listens with empathy without rushing to solve, minimize, or absorb the emotion as their own.
Unhealthy Example:
One partner feels responsible for the other’s moods, walks on eggshells, or suppresses their own emotions to keep the peace.
Reflection Question:
Am I allowed to have my own emotional experience without being blamed, dismissed, or expected to manage my partner’s feelings?
3. Intellectual Boundaries in Relationship Therapy
Definition:
Intellectual boundaries involve respecting differences in opinions, beliefs, values, and ways of thinking.
Healthy Example:
Partners can disagree on politics, parenting styles, or life decisions while maintaining respect and curiosity rather than contempt.
Unhealthy Example:
One partner mocks, dismisses, or invalidates the other’s thoughts or pressures them to change their beliefs to avoid conflict.
Reflection Question:
Do I feel respected when I express ideas or opinions that differ from my partner’s?
4. Sexual Boundaries in Relationship Therapy
Definition:
Sexual boundaries define consent, comfort, desire, frequency, preferences, and the right to change one’s mind.
Healthy Example:
Both partners openly communicate their desires and limits, understanding that consent is ongoing and not owed, even in long-term relationships.
Unhealthy Example:
Sex is used as a bargaining tool, obligation, or measure of worth, or one partner pressures the other despite hesitation or discomfort.
Reflection Question:
Can I express my sexual needs and limits without fear of rejection, pressure, or emotional consequences?
5. Financial Boundaries in Relationship Therapy
Definition:
Financial boundaries involve how money is earned, spent, saved, shared, and discussed.
Healthy Example:
Partners agree on transparency around finances, discuss spending limits, and respect individual and shared financial goals.
Unhealthy Example:
One partner hides spending, controls all financial decisions, or uses money as a form of power or punishment.
Reflection Question:
Do we communicate openly and respectfully about money, or does it feel tense, secretive, or controlling?
Boundaries Are a Skill—Not a Personality Trait
In relationship therapy at Therapy Ties, our relationship therapists often see that people struggle with boundaries, not because they are weak or selfish, but because they were never taught how. Childhood dynamics, past relationships, and fear of conflict often shape boundary patterns.
Learning boundaries is a process of self-awareness, communication, and repair. In healthy relationships, boundaries are discussed, adjusted, and respected, not punished.
Self-Relationship & Boundary Reflection Worksheet
At Therapy Ties, relationship therapy begins with the relationship you have with yourself. This worksheet is designed to support self-love, self-awareness, and inner boundary work before (or alongside) conversations with your partner.
Use this worksheet individually first, then revisit it together if helpful.
For each boundary type (physical, emotional, intellectual, sexual, financial), reflect on:
- What do I notice in my body when this boundary is crossed?
(Tension, shutdown, anxiety, resentment, guilt, anger, numbness) - What belief about myself shows up in these moments?
(e.g., “My needs are too much,” “I’m selfish for wanting this,” “I’ll be rejected if I say no.”) - What did I learn growing up about having needs or limits in this area?
(What was modeled? What felt unsafe or discouraged?) - What would honoring myself look like here, even in a small way?
(A pause, a no, a request, a boundary statement, or self-validation.) - How can I communicate this boundary from self-respect rather than fear?
(Using clarity, calm, and ownership rather than blame or avoidance.)
Return to this worksheet regularly. In relationship therapy, boundaries are not fixed rules—they are living reflections of your evolving relationship with yourself.
Final Thoughts from a Relationship Therapist at Therapy Ties
Boundaries are not the opposite of love; they are the foundation of it. When couples honor each other’s limits, they create relationships rooted in trust, safety, and genuine connection.
If boundary struggles keep showing up in your relationship, relationship therapy can help uncover the patterns underneath and build healthier ways of relating, both to your partner and to yourself. At Therapy Ties, our approach to relationship therapy is rooted in self-awareness, emotional safety, and meaningful change.
Because strong relationships begin with knowing where you stand and honoring where your partner stands, too. At Therapy Ties, we believe relationship therapy starts with understanding yourself first.
Ready to Build Healthier Boundaries? Get Support from Relationship Therapy in Los Angeles, CA
If boundary struggles keep showing up in your relationship—whether it’s walking on eggshells, feeling responsible for your partner’s emotions, or losing yourself in the process—you don’t have to navigate it alone. Relationship therapy in Los Angeles, CA can help you uncover the patterns underneath and build healthier ways of relating, both to your partner and to yourself. At Therapy Ties, our approach is rooted in self-awareness, emotional safety, and meaningful change—because strong relationships begin with knowing where you stand. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
- Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to explore relationship therapy in Los Angeles, CA, and see if boundary work is right for you.
- Meet with a relationship therapist to understand how your boundary patterns, childhood dynamics, and communication style affect your relationship.
- Begin honoring your limits, strengthening your relationship with yourself, and building deeper intimacy through clearer, compassionate boundaries.
Additional Services Offered at Therapy Ties in Los Angeles, CA
At Therapy Ties, I help individuals and couples move beyond resentment, emotional exhaustion, and walking on eggshells by learning to set clear, compassionate boundaries that make intimacy safe and sustainable. Through relationship therapy in Los Angeles, CA, clients develop the self-awareness and communication skills needed to honor their own limits while staying deeply connected to their partner. I also offer individual therapy, couples therapy, and anger management for clients in Woodland Hills, West Hills, Agoura Hills, Encino, Tarzana, Sherman Oaks, North Hollywood, and throughout the greater Valley—providing a compassionate space to strengthen your relationship with yourself and transform how you show up in all relationships.
About The Author
Hi, I’m Liron, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of Therapy Ties in Woodland Hills. I specialize in helping individuals and couples move from emotional exhaustion and resentment to clarity, respect, and deeper intimacy by learning to set and honor boundaries that reflect their true needs and values. My approach is relational and grounded in understanding how childhood dynamics, attachment patterns, and past relational wounds shape the way we protect ourselves, communicate our limits, and navigate closeness today.
I integrate Humanistic therapy, Emotion-Focused Therapy, Gestalt, and Family Systems to create a space where clients can explore their boundary patterns, strengthen self-awareness, and practice staying connected to themselves while remaining present with their partner. I hold a Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy from Phillips Graduate Institute and a BA in Psychology from UCLA. As a CAMS III–certified anger management specialist, I also support clients in managing intense emotions and shifting reactive behaviors that often arise when boundaries feel crossed or unsafe.
Fluent in both Hebrew and English, I work with clients throughout the Valley who are ready to stop walking on eggshells and start building relationships rooted in trust, safety, and mutual respect. If you’re seeking to understand where you end and your partner begins—and to create healthier connections from that foundation—I’m here to support that journey.
