Our earliest experiences quietly shape the way we move through the world. Long before we have language for emotions, boundaries, or needs, we learn powerful lessons about love, safety, conflict, and connection. These lessons don’t disappear as we grow older; they live on in our nervous systems and often resurface in our parenting and our romantic relationships.
At Therapy Ties, relationship therapy is rooted in one core belief: meaningful change begins with understanding yourself. We don’t explore childhood experiences to assign blame or dwell in the past, but to create awareness, choice, and compassion in the present.
The Hidden Lessons of Childhood
Childhood teaches us how to attach, how to express emotion, and how safe it is to need others. If love felt conditional, inconsistent, or emotionally distant, those patterns often shape how we relate as adults.
For example, someone who experienced emotional neglect may struggle to express affection or feel uncomfortable receiving it. Someone raised in a critical or high-expectation household may internalize harsh self-talk or place unrealistic standards on their partner or children. Or, someone who grew up in chaos may become hypervigilant, controlling, or emotionally shut down as a way to feel safe.
Without awareness, these early adaptations quietly influence how we show up in relationships. In relationship therapy, we often discover that what feels like a “current problem” is actually an old survival strategy trying to protect us.
Parenting as a Mirror
Parenting has a unique way of activating unresolved childhood experiences. Children don’t just need us; they reflect us.
A child’s frustration may feel like criticism. A tantrum may feel overwhelming or threatening. A request for attention may feel like rejection or failure. These reactions are rarely about the child alone. They are often echoes of moments when our own needs were unmet, dismissed, or misunderstood
When boundaries in relationships were unclear or unsafe in childhood, parenting can feel especially triggering. You may find yourself oscillating between over-giving and shutting down, between rigid control and guilt.
A relationship therapist helps parents slow down these moments and ask a different question:
What is being activated in me right now, and what does it need?
Childhood Patterns in Romantic Relationships
The same patterns that surface in parenting often show up in romantic partnerships. Many conflicts between partners are not about the present moment but about attachment wounds from the past.
You might notice patterns such as: Feeling abandoned when your partner needs space. Becoming defensive during conflict. Avoiding vulnerability to prevent disappointment. Struggling with emotional or physical boundaries in relationships
Without awareness, partners can unknowingly project old fears onto each other. With awareness, those same moments become opportunities for connection rather than conflict.
In relationship therapy, we help couples shift from blame to curiosity, learning to say, “This feels familiar,” instead of “You’re doing something wrong.”
Boundaries in Relationships Start in Childhood
Our ability to set and respect boundaries in relationships is deeply connected to what we learned early on.
If your boundaries were ignored, punished, or blurred as a child, you may struggle to: Say no without guilt, ask for what you need, trust your internal signals, and feel safe asserting yourself.
Many adults believe boundary struggles mean they are selfish, weak, or bad at relationships. In reality, these struggles are often signs of unlearned skills, not character flaws.
Relationship therapy focuses on rebuilding boundaries from the inside out, helping you reconnect with your needs, your limits, and your inner sense of safety.
Practical Steps for Healing and Awareness
Awareness alone doesn’t change patterns, but it opens the door. Here are foundational steps we often explore in relationship therapy:
1. Reflect on Your Triggers
Notice which moments with your child or partner create strong emotional reactions. Ask yourself: When have I felt this before? Triggers are often portals to earlier experiences.
2. Journal Your Emotional Responses
Writing helps slow the nervous system and reveal patterns. Track recurring feelings, thoughts, and body sensations to better understand your inner world.
3. Communicate Consciously
Communicate and share your insights with your partner from a place of ownership rather than blame. For example: “This situation touches something old for me, and I’m working through it.”
4. Practice Self-Compassion
Your patterns were once survival strategies. They helped you adapt to your environment. Relationship therapy invites you to honor that while gently choosing new responses.
5. Model Healthier Patterns for Your Children
When you express emotions safely, repair after mistakes, and respect boundaries in relationships, you teach your children that connection doesn’t require self-abandonment.
Creating New Patterns
Understanding how childhood shapes our present gives us power not to rewrite the past, but to respond differently now. With awareness, support, and intention, you can parent with empathy, connect with your partner authentically, and break cycles that no longer serve you.
At Therapy Ties, relationship therapy is about more than improving communication; it’s about helping you understand yourself, strengthen your boundaries, and build relationships rooted in safety and self-respect.
Because when you pause, reflect, and truly think about it, you create space for meaningful change for yourself, your relationships, and the next generation.
Ready to Break Old Patterns and Build Healthier Connections? Start Relationship Therapy in Los Angeles, CA
If childhood patterns are showing up in your parenting or connecting with your partner, you don’t have to navigate this alone. Relationship therapy in Los Angeles, CA can help you understand your triggers, heal old wounds, and build the secure connections you’ve been longing for. At Therapy Ties, we create a compassionate space where awareness becomes the foundation for lasting change—for you, your relationships, and the next generation. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
- Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to explore relationship therapy in Los Angeles, CA, and see if healing childhood patterns is right for you.
- Meet with a relationship therapist to understand how your early experiences shape your parenting, partnerships, and emotional triggers.
- Begin breaking old cycles, reconnecting with yourself, and building healthier relationships rooted in awareness and compassion.
Additional Services Offered at Therapy Ties in Los Angeles, CA
At Therapy Ties, I help individuals and couples understand how childhood experiences shape the way they parent, connect, and navigate conflict today. Through relationship therapy in Los Angeles, CA, clients gain the self-awareness and tools needed to heal old patterns, manage emotional triggers, and build relationships rooted in safety and authenticity. I also offer individual therapy, couples therapy, and anger management for clients in Woodland Hills, West Hills, Agoura Hills, Encino, Tarzana, Sherman Oaks, North Hollywood, and throughout the greater Valley—providing a compassionate space to break cycles that no longer serve you and create meaningful change for yourself and the next generation.
About The Author
Hi, I’m Liron, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of Therapy Ties in Woodland Hills. I specialize in helping individuals and couples understand how early experiences shape the way they parent, navigate conflict, and connect in relationships today. My approach is relational and grounded in exploring how childhood dynamics, attachment patterns, and unresolved emotional wounds influence how we show up in our most important relationships.
I integrate Humanistic therapy, Emotion-Focused Therapy, Gestalt, and Family Systems to create a space where clients can develop self-awareness, heal old patterns, and strengthen their connections. I hold a Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy from Phillips Graduate Institute and a BA in Psychology from UCLA. As a CAMS III–certified anger management specialist, I also support clients in managing emotional triggers and shifting reactive behaviors that often stem from past experiences.
Fluent in both Hebrew and English, I work with clients throughout the Valley who are ready to break cycles, build healthier relationships, and create meaningful change for themselves and future generations.
